Thursday, March 9, 2017

Dear Husband, Now That You're A Father

Dear Husband,

Now that you are a father and I am a mother of our beautiful child, I would like to let you know that I am so thankful to have you both in my life.

I understand that our lives have changed, if not so drastically, since the day she was born. For the better? Or for the worse?

Do you remember that we used to fight on weekends, about which places to go, which restaurant to dine, which house appliances to buy, which brand of soap we want to try. All those trifling things.
Oh, we used to fight on weekdays, too - when you and I got home, both tired after a long daaaaay of work, and I still had to cook for at least 30 minutes (and washed the dishes after) while you only needed 5 minutes to finish the whole plate.
Remember that we also lived in a small cube on the 25th floor back then? We could not avoid each other when we fought, because we would ALWAYS bump at each other in that 31 sqm space. Tricky.

Yes, we used to fight. But we immediately made up and things got better before bed - where we enjoyed the spacious bed, just the two of us.

Do you remember that I always kept my hair nice-smelling and you liked to sniff it?

During our TTC journey, you were the one who kept me going. You gave me the courage to undergo any medical procedure needed so that we could have a child. You held my hand after we did the IUI, you wiped my tears when we failed the IUI. You, yourself, had also beaten your fear and dealt with those uncomfortable feelings during medical exams.

Oh, I also did not forget to cut your toenails once every 2 week!

We used to say "I Love You" before we went to bed.

We watched movies religiously.

We were so close.

Now that she's here, I have to admit that we are growing apart...

Literally, we don't sleep next to each other now that the baby sleeps between us. We hardly kiss each other goodnight because I am often too tired and doze off completely as soon as the baby sleeps, and you can not be bothered, busy playing that Clash Royale of yours.

My hair does not always smell like a fresh flower bouquet because I rarely have time to dry it all up in the morning - you know, I have to prepare myself to go to the office, feed our baby, prepare her milk, pack my bags (now that I am a mother and I need to carry at least 2 humongous bags to work).
Is that the reason why you no longer kiss me on the forehead before you go to work? Maybe not. Maybe you enjoy smooching our little baby better, honestly speaking, she DOES smell better. And as she gets bigger, maybe she gets to hold your hands far more often than I do.

And when was the last time we went to catch a new movie? Star Wars, was it? We missed Rogue One, and now The Last Jedi is already approaching. Couldn't care less, could we?

I am sorry now I don't have much time for you, now that I am a mother. I have forgotten about keeping your toenails short, just like I have forgotten many things. I am too forgetful nowadays. Between work and household chores, between monthly reports and dirty diapers. It's getting so hard to focus and remember things when you can only worry about one small baby (but a super cute one).

Dear Husband, I just want you to know that I have never been happier now and you are part of that happiness of mine. I am a mother, my priority in life has completely changed - family is number one on my list, and you are also a part of it. I am now a parent, we are now parents, let's be a good one. We are responsible for the life of this tiny human, an amanah from God. Let's work together to raise her to be a wonderful human being. Please help me when I am in need (I mean, when I'm so beat after a series of begadang night), and I promise you have my total support, too.

Dear Husband, now that you are a father. Continue to be an amazing one. Love her, teach her, protect her. Make sure that one day she will run to you, hug you and say that she is proud of you.

I love you, I love her, and I love us. I've said this before, and I'm saying it again, and maybe I will keep on saying this until we're gone (even that is not possible).

"Thank you for being here and now,
and the forever ever after in the making."

I don't believe in forever, though. But both of you certainly make me think that forever (being with you both) is a pleasant idea.

Okay, maybe the quote sounds exaggerating. Please just hold my hand (and hers) and never let go.
That's good enough for now.

Oh, and please continue to tell me that I am not THAT fat, you know THAT is key in every relationship.
Love you!

From There, To Here
(She doesn't seem interested to take a good family wefie, no?)

Thursday, March 2, 2017

The Diare Diary

WARNING. Baby poop pictures ahead. Turn back if you want to, you have been warned. 😀

I know. The title sounds weird, tapi beberapa waktu yang lalu kami sungguh intens bertarung melawan diare yang dialami Sid sejak masih berusia 4 bulan.

Diare pada bayi memang sulit untuk diidentifikasi, karena natur pup bayi yang memang cair. Bedanya, kalau bayi memang mengalami gangguan pencernaan pasti pup-nya akan bercampur mucus atau lendir. Tidak tampak? Well, harus dilihat dengan seksama setiap kali. Makanya saya selalu foto setiap kali Sid pup - now I have a fun collection of poop pictures on my phone jadi kalau mau lihat supaya bisa belajar tentang diare bayi, silakan japri hehehehe...

It was a fine Sunday afternoon in early November ketika saya sedang mengganti popok Sid setelah ia bermain dengan kakak-kakak sepupunya. Saya melihat ada titik-titik merah di antara lautan kecoklatan dan saya langsung panik. Kami pun segera ke UGD untuk mencari pertolongan, padahal kalau dilihat Sid tampak ceria dan baik-baik saja, berat badannya pun bagus. Di UGD dilakukan cek feses singkat dan hasilnya ada darah samar (occult blood) dan leukosit (pup normal leukosit 0). Dokter UGD hanya kasih Lacto-B dan kami diminta konsultasi dengan Dokter Spesialis Anak (DSA) di pagi hari.

Di Ruang Tunggu Dokter, With Iyang

Kami balik keesokan hari ke rumah sakit dan DSA bilang ada dua kemungkinan diare berdarah, yaitu infeksi bakteri atau alergi susu sapi (dari ASI ibu). Kami diminta cek feses lagi, dan ternyata leukosit makin meningkat sehingga DSA meresepkan antibiotik (saya lupa namanya) dan Lacto-B.

Diare Dengan Bintik Darah

Setelah minum antibiotik, pup Sid tampak normal selama kurang lebih satu minggu lalu tiba-tiba muncul darah dan lendir lagi. Saya sungguh cemas, karena saya lihat bayi kecil kami ini tetap ceria meski kenaikan berat badannya melambat dan stuck di sekitar 6.2 kilogram. Kami konsultasi lagi ke DSA, cek feses lagi,  dan kali ini dinyatakan alergi susu sapi sehingga ibu harus pantang konsumsi susu sapi dan produk turunannya. Bye bye martabak, cokelat, keju, pizza, biskuit-biskuit... Antibiotik sudah tidak perlu diberikan. Dua minggu berlalu, saya terus menerus di-PHP-in oleh pup-nya Sid - karena satu hari bagus, besok muncul darah dan lendir, eh lusa bagus lagi. Pusing kepala mamak. Mungkin karena Sid masih minum ASIP yang saya stock sebelum pantang dairy ketika saya kerja, jadi saya siapkan ASIP freshly-pumped tapi si BAB berdarah masih juga datang dan pergi silih berganti.

Akhirnya karena sudah sebulan nggak tuntas, kami memutuskan ke DSA sub-spesialis gastroenterologi di bulan Desember 2016. Ketika ditimbang, berat badan Sid naik sedikiiiit banget dan dalam hati saya mulai menghakimi diri sendiri karena nggak becus ngurus anak, rasanya langsung pingin resign besok. Sid diberikan antibiotik Flagyl karena dari tes feses sebelumnya masih ada leukosit yang cukup tinggi (di atas 5), lalu tes feses lengkap dan kultur feses untuk melihat apakah ada pertumbuhan bakteri. DSA ini mengultimatum, kalau dalam 3 hari masih ada bintik darah, mau nggak mau mesti rawat inap. Hati saya rasanya seperti dikremek-kremek...

Karena nggak membaik, saya harus merelakan bayi kecil usia 5 bulan ini untuk rawat inap dan dipasangi selang infus. Di rumah sakit, alhamdulillah si bayi tetap ceria padahal ibunya setiap malam nangis dan susah tidur (it's soooooo heartbreaking to see her little hand being connected to a machine with a needle). Selama di RS, Sid diberi Flagyl, Orezinc, Lacto-B dan infus metronidazole tambahan.

Stay Healthy, Baby!

Setelah 3 hari rawat inap, hasil kultur feses baru keluar (karena kultur memang harus 5-7 hari) dan ada temuan salmonella. What? Kaget banget, karena bakteri ini harusnya cuma ada di makanan atau sisa feses yang notabene jorok banget, saya benar-benar nggak paham bagaimana bayi saya bisa terpapar bakteri ini. Apparently, DSA bilang treatment-nya sudah tepat karena bakteri salmonella ini sensitif terhadap metronidazole. Begitu pulang dari rumah sakit, DSA wanti-wanti supaya semua peralatan bayi langsung disterilkan dengan air mendidih dan siapapun harus cuci tangan atau pakai disinfektan sebelum pegang Sid. Pemberian Orezinc dan Lacto-B lanjut sampai kira-kira 5 hari setelah keluar rumah sakit.

Sakit, But She Could Still Pull Off This Look

Siapa mengira jika tidak lama setelah rawat inap, tiba-tiba ada pup dengan bintik darah lagi. Saya langsung lemes, meski suami berusaha menenangkan. Setelah bertanya dengan adik ipar yang kebetulan sedang ambil spesialis anak, kami pun memutuskan pergi ke ahli gastroenterologi anak yang konon paling jago se-Indonesia yaitu Prof. Dr. dr. Agus Firmansyah, SpA(k). Beliau cuma praktek di RSCM Kencana (pagi, Senin dan Kamis) dan RSIA Hermina Bekasi (sore, Senin hingga Jumat). Karena sudah siang, kami terpaksa menyambangi beliau di RSIA Hermina Bekasi. Antrian ke Prof. Agus ini lumayan panjang, kami harus menunggu sekitar 3 jam lebih untuk bertemu beliau. Ketika diperiksa, Prof. Agus yang santai dan humoris ini langsung ngomelin saya...

"Masa bayi sekecil ini dikasih Flagyl?"

Menurut Prof. Agus, Sid hampir pasti mengalami alergi susu sapi yang menyerang saluran cerna dan menyebabkan diare berdarah. Mengapa demikian?

1. Tidak ada indikasi klinis si anak sakit, sebab anak bergerak aktif, ceria dan tidak rewel. Tidak demam dan masih mau menyusui dengan normal.
2. Infeksi bakteri salmonella sangat jarang terjadi, dan biasanya menyerang hanya pada kondisi lingkungan yang menurut Prof. Agus jorok buangeeeetttt.
3. Saya mengaku bahwa setelah bayi keluar dari rumah sakit, saya mulai konsumsi keju, biskuit, dan makanan lain yang mengandung susu sapi (meski belum berani untuk minum susu sapi).

Kami keluar dari ruangan Prof. Agus dengan (sedikit) lega. Beliau tidak memberikan obat atau suplemen apapun, not even Lacto-B. Saya disarankan untuk terus pantang susu sapi selama masih memberikan ASI dan diberikan tips untuk memulai MPASI dengan menghindari MPASI instan yang biasanya mengandung susu sapi.

Pesan dari Prof. Agus,
"Treat the child, not the lab result."
Maksudnya, kita harus cermat mengamati kondisi klinis anak kita. Jika anak demam, tampak lemas atau kesakitan, cenderung mengantuk atau menangis terus, tidak mau menyusu dan makan minum, nah itu saatnya kita waspada dan harus segera ke dokter atau rumah sakit. Sebaliknya, jika anak tidak demam, masih ceria dan tidak rewel, bergerak aktif, masih menyusui seperti biasa, nafsu makan normal, maka kita seharusnya bisa menangani diare di rumah, tanpa perlu tambahan antibiotik yang kurang baik bagi bayi. Kunci penanganan diare di rumah cukup sederhana tapi memang butuh ketelatenan ibu, yaitu cukupi asupan cairan (makan dan minum). Kalau makanan dan minuman biasa dirasa kurang, bisa diberikan oralit (saya pakai merek Pedialyte dan Dehidralyte).
Jangan lupa, tetap rawat bayi dan anak dengan penuh kasih sayang, tetap sabar dan tenang.

Nah, sabar dan tenang ini justru yang paling sulit dilakukan karena ibu-ibu kalau anaknya sakit kan rasanya sedih banget dan mau jedot-jedotin kepala ke tembok...

Semangat, mommies!
 
Images by Freepik