Thursday, July 21, 2016

We Named Her...

Nama lengkapnya adalah Sidra Kamila Salman.

Sidra, diambil dari سدرة المنتهى‎ , yang dalam bahasa Indonesia ditulis sebagai Sidratul Muntaha, adalah pohon di surga/pohon yang menandai batas langit/surga ke-tujuh.

Kamila, artinya sempurna, tidak kurang suatu apapun.

Sehingga, Sidra Kamila Salman ini kami artikan sebagai berkah yang sempurna, yang diamanahkan kepada Keluarga Salman agar bisa membukakan pintu surga.

Dalam bahasa Urdu, Sidra artinya 'seperti bintang'. And yes, she is truly bright, shining through my life, like a star.

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

She's Here!

The wait is finally over!

She's here, I can hold her in my arms now. I can kiss her, touch her, feel her every breath.
She arrived two weeks ahead of the 40-weeks schedule, but she is such a perfection. She weighed at 2,9 kg and 47 cm in height at birth, she looked petite but she was easily my grand-est achievement.

Hello, World!

Giving birth to her was an amazing experience. Time went by so slowly since the minute I was admitted to the hospital at 9 PM. At midnight, the come-and-go pain in my stomach was indescribable, but the thought of seeing my daughter's face kept me going. But at 1 AM, I felt like giving up because I thought I would not make it to see the light of day. Everything suddenly turned into a rush when the clock hit the 2 AM mark. Then at 3.10 AM, I could hear her crying then she landed on my chest. She was warm, she seemed so small and fragile, but most of all, she is mine to hold.

Last but not least, I want to thank my Mother. Thank you for doing exactly the same thing, thank you for delivering me safely into the world. Thank you for watching over me, thank you for the time and the patience, the energy and the tears you spent on me. I owe you everything I am today and I may never be able to repay you, but I want you to know that there is nothing in the world that I won't do for you. I love you, Mom.

For Baby, welcome home.
Let's grow together.

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

The Fall

Hello, baby.

This day was (almost) be one of the blackest days in life.
I slipped and fell down.
Laid flat on the concrete floor in Plaza Senayan parking ground.

I got bruises and all, on my face, hands, arms, feet. But all those did not matter much to me. It was you who was on top of my mind, it was you, you all along.

I rushed myself to the nearest public restroom where I could still feel you thumping lightly. I cried, and cried, and called your daddy. He told me to calm myself and I should wait for him there. Then we raced to the hospital, where I spent a good deal of time sobbing while waiting for the doctor to see us. To my relief, the doctor said you were fine.
Your little heart was still beating.
Your little fingers were still throwing punches.
Your little feet were still kicking recklessly.
I was joyous.
But I still cried at night before bed. Maybe tomorrow I would still cry over this all over again.

Because today I learned my lesson the hard way. I did not set my priority straight, I thought I was strong and capable to do things on my own, but I forgot to put you into the picture and put both of us at risk. I can't tell you enough how sorry I am to let this happen to you, at this very moment, at this very stage of your development. It hurts me beyond anything, any pain that I have endured in life so far.

I pray to God that He will let me have you, hold you, and watch you grow.

Your mother.
Images by Freepik